This November 12, 2011 marks my 1 year anniversary of being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. I was supposed to go out to celebrate my birthday which is November 13 but couldn’t. I spent that night, a year ago, in the ER as doctors and nurses tried to safely lower my blood sugar, which was at 31 that night, as well as explain to me what diabetes was and how my life will change. I remember the emotions and the feelings of shock, sadness and fear. Being numb is how I felt the whole night and into the next day. I felt like I was standing in a pool with the water flowing over my head, couldn’t breathe and couldn’t get to the surface. They told me it was a disease, my mind thinks of a disease as being sick and I did not feel sick. That denial was the ugliest and one of the most important stages of life I have ever had.
A year now past and I’m still Angelica. I cannot believe the amount of information I have learned which allows me to live a healthier lifestyle that isn’t as restricted as I once thought. It was difficult learning all of this, mostly on my own, since I live away from my parents, was 20 years old at the time, living with my younger brother, and having to deal with a major lifestyle change. I still get overwhelmed, angry, sad and fearful but I feel like I am moving in the right direction towards one day accepting my diabetes. I still see my nurse, dietitian, social worker and endo but I feel so much more confident about my diabetes.
That confidence was confirmed one day when I went to a walk-in because of a dance related injury. I had done some blood work as well as x-rays and ultrasounds of my leg. When looking at my blood work, blood pressure, cholesterol, and other things, the doctor told me I was a text-book example of a healthy person and I started laughing. I asked if she knew I was a type 1 diabetic. She looked up from her clipboard with a puzzled look on her face and shook her head. She told me she was very impressed and couldn’t believe despite having this disease I was healthier than people who are free of disease.
I continue to educate myself about the disease as well as the research and innovation that is coming about. While learning, I found out World Diabetes Day is the day after my birthday and November is Diabetes Month and I was diagnosed on the 12th. It is amazing that I was born and now live in the city, Toronto, which was the birthplace of insulin. Crazy how some things just fall into place like that.
My goals when it comes to my diabetes change all the time, but the over arching goal is to keep myself healthy so I can continue enjoying life and to merge my diabetes into my life and allow life and diabetes to co-exist and not trump each other. That to me seems like a healthy, balanced lifestyle